Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened to my sunglasses?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Unfortually last night Andrew McNeil was studying soo hard that his head exploded and the next day at school, his friends found out and then cheered with laughter and happieness.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Michael Jackson become white? He thought he saw a ghost.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops