Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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What did Billy say when he met the president? Nice to meat you Mr. President? -Louis

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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Vote this up or I'll tell my mum!

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

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What did the blonde say when she saw a box of cheerios? "Lovely, I think I'll have some of these for breakfast today. The wholegrain will be good for me."

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why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops