A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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what's white, got three legs and you wouldn't expect to find in the rainforest? A fridge on a stool

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown, sued the water company, bought a huge settlement and ran off with that slut Little Bo Peep.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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A black student graduated High School

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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Ily bae

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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what's worse than a joke about the holocaust? the holocaust.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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