Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

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Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

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What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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What do you get on anti-jokes.com? A bunch of repeated "jokes", that don't make any sense.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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