Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

Q. Whats the diffrence between a squirl and a chipmunk? A. A squirl has a squirl mom and a squirl dad while a chipmunk has a chipmunk mom and a chipmunk dad.

What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

Water? I hardly know her.

How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

Why did Steve Jobs step down as CEO of Apple? Because he died.

What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

Your girlfriend.

A man with Azheim - Eh, I forgot what it was called.

Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

i found waldo.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

What's brown and slimy? brown slime

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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