what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

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how many jews does it take for me to be able to have sex with my cousin's girlfriend? idk, but that's how many I need. actually let me have some extras. couldn't hurt.

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

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Jamie stegman liked doodle alot. Yummy he thought to himself as it entered his mouth.

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Advertiser: Charlies Tax---------- Advertiser: OMG, who are you... Pedobear: Hello kids, come in my taxi(Van) :D

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

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Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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What did one cake say to the other? You wanna piece of me?!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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