A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because, unfortunately, he is blind, prohibiting him from reading anything other than brail. He is, however, an excellent musician.

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Six Million Jews.

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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Whats the difference between dinosaurs and skittles? Dinosaurs were killed out hundreds of thousands of years ago when skittles on the other hand are sugery candy that people eat when they are craving a sweet treat

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What happen to the guy who stole the TV. He runs away as he fears the person that stoled his/her TV reports him/her to the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops