roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Wait what? What if you use the what what? Sorry I am still like super hypnotic trippy, dont worry though, I dont want it to end.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops