- Anti Joke

Did you know that Hellen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard? Neither did she.

How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

Wanna hear a joke??... No...... oh ok :(

Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

What did the president do for the people? ...

So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

welcome to australia. kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils

Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

Girls Lacrosse.

Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

To you to which this may concern: Nero Septimus, known as Nero7, left me in charge of the order, while I know many do not consider me a worthy leader, I share if but one trait except humanity with Nero7, I could not care less about what you care about me, you WILL follow me if you want, and likewise GTFO if you do not, Nero7 told me that his mistake was allowing too many people follow him half assed, taking advantage of his wisdom and then mock him for the advice that was beyond what you where able to understand... ...It is this that led to the downfall of the old order, all we can do now, is to gather those of you that want to follow me, his chosen successor to the letter, or I will kick your fucking ass out of the Order, because as you do know if you listened: "We do not do mistakes, if we accept that what we are actually making, are experiences, then we have simply learned something new, and if said experience is unpleasant, we accept that we have simply learned how to never experience it again" So I will allow no one to take advantage of me, to laugh behind my back, not without breaking your skull, and allowing you to watch as I shut your family inside your own home, and set fire to it, Treat me well and we can together design our future to our liking, treat me bad, and your future on earth ends where you stand, zero tolerance, so consider your actions well... ...This as I will rather follow my ancestors line alone, than with scum like those of you that react in shock as you read this statement, remember that it was your own goddamn fault that he died, and that while he never told us his true age because he did not know himself, this was because he was beaten so badly as a kid, that he one day lost much of his memory... To the contrary of common belief, he was merely 31 years old according to several tests, and despite many of your comments, his IQ which he never shared because he just as me believes if fucking bullshit, was of 178, a fucking genius, to those of you that are fucking stupid enough to care... ...Those of you that are NOW going "OMG HE WAS TRULY A GENIUS BECAUSE OF A FUCKING NUMBER!" Will NEVER RETURN if you are concerned for your life and the safety of your family. I might not wear an fist made of steel, but as all of those of you that attended to his funeral and read his last will, the order is no longer a place for those that want to follow me half assedly. In other words, those that want to follow me, are from today under my rule, and I need no said prosthetic, because I will not only lead, but also rule with an iron fist. For what you allowed to happen, which cost the life of many of out kin, including the one of our wise young and talented leader, I expect absolutely no one to return to our last stronghold at the hour you can fucking decipher yourself from this statement alone. ...So know that if you respected the greatest leader there where, you will follow me, and that since our order has no room for failure, those that might return and "fail" to follow the new rules, the new order, will either willingly face the consequences which consist of very unpleasant experiences and then leave, or not meet up at all. I need none of those that failed our great leader whose failures led to his death and the death of countless of our own kin, so my goal will be finding new people, this does not mean that those willing to bow down before me and tell me you have learned from your fucking mistakes, will not be given a chance anew. Still ladies and gentlemen formerly of the order of old, know that I am not alone, know that while we are few, we still consist of those that would never dare laugh his back, and that we are powerful enough to grow beyond what the rest of humanity has, and will ever see, And that if you decide to follow us, the council, and me as its leader, then neither you will be alone. We accept mistakes, nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes, but accepting failure, and failing to follow us on purpose, will cost you far more, than what you alone can pay with. "If we fall, we rise again wiser and stronger, having learned by our experiences, for what are we, if we keep making those experiences does not matter, what matters is knowing that if we do the same mistakes, we will one day be no more" Nero Septimus,

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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