Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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Why was the Pædophile arrested? He hit his wife.

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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an alien is walking down the street he can't breathe our air and quickly suffocates and dies

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

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if a fat guy in a red suit comes into your house on christmas. its not santa your about to get raped from chewy(:

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A kid walked into a bar and ordered a drink and then was arrested for drinking under the age of 18

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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don't just stand there

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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