Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

knock knock go away

thumb_up thumb_down +21

yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

My Nan, that is all.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock. Doors open

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops