What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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A man walked into a bar Ouch!

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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What is the reward for the pimp who banged a bitch? HIV

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops