A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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knock knock whos there? nobody

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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I'm winning at Scrabble.

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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Aww, I knew you where a sweetheart at the core Nerochan, I mean I look up towards people that don't give a jack about what others think but I am not as good at it as you are. Now can you please spam that away like really quickly now?

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

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What do you do when you see a hot girl in your bed

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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