What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

roses are black violets are black i am blind

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

thumb_up thumb_down +16

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops