Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops