A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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call me maybe.

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Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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What's black and shouldn't have the right to vote? Ants

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

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Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

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What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

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Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

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What is worse than being bitten by a snake? Being bitten twice! - Louis

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Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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