How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

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Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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