BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Knock Knock Who's There Me

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Why was the mom happy cause her daughter had an abortion

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. Imams do not drink alcohol so this joke has a logical flaw.

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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