What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Q: Why is the sky green? A: It's not

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Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

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What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

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Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble.

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Why do women like NASCAR? They don't.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH BECAUSE HORSES HAVE BAD BREATH

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why was the man so good at holding stuff? he was born with 4 arms!

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knock knock who's there your moms dead im sorry

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why was the black man on the bus? cause he needed to get to work

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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