How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

thumb_up thumb_down -9

wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats ironic about a white van being white the driver usualy is not

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened to the child who was rushed into hospital with a deadly disease? He pulled through. I'ts depressing to be constantly hearing sad anti jokes, so here is a nice one. The child in question lived to eighty one, had a great life and a good job. See, it's nice to read a happy anti joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops