How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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Skinny people fart less.

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

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How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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whats the difference between an iron and a priest? An iron is a hand-held device which presses clothes and a priest is a person who is authorized to perform the sacred rituals of a religion.

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want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

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Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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KKK: Hey i was just comming over here to invite you to a church gathering me and my buddies are having later on tonight, and afterwards we are going to have a big bon-fire to fire up our spirits. Black guy: OK sounds great. White people sure are nice now-a-days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops