This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

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What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Injured.

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

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how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

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What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

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Q: Why did the girl have dirty knees? A: Cause she was dragged through the forest and raped.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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