- Anti Joke

What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?

Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because having been born Chick L. Sanders only three years before, his dream (as advertised by his dear old mother, Mrs Sanders (who was suffering from a poor but luckily passing bout of measles)) was to make it in showbiz. He was a poor chick, Chick, growing up in Indianapolis (the chick kicking capital of the world) but he learned how to cope and how to toughen up -- this chick, Chick, kicked when ticked off. After reaching the dear young age of three, this chick (still Chick) headed west to make it to Los Angeles. He arrived in Iowa a couple of years later, having grown stubble and achieved chick puberty. In search of pressing and more immediate desires, he raped a duckling. Although he knew such a deed was morally polarizing, he kept it out of his mind until he received a telegram detailing that his mother (Mrs Sanders) had been killed by another bout of measles that did not pass and proved ultimately fatal. Overcome with grief and regret, he castrated himself and told himself to never again seek pleasures of the flesh. Because of this action, he became forever known as Chick the Dickless. He worked in Des Moines for a time, but knew he had to continue on his journey to achieve his dreams. Crossing the Missouri, he found himself embarrassingly in Kansas, a place he did not want to go and was famed for its stoning of anything castrated. He avoided Topeka and traveled through some hills before getting hit by a twister. Chick the Dickless twisted until Chick clicked that a kick and a lick to the prick would hick him from such a predicament. He eventually landed in New Mexico, on the border of the Rio Grande because he forgot chickens could fly if they were castrated. Chick the Dickless flicked through a prickly dictionary and found he was not in Kansas anymore. He continued his journey west, eventually finding himself in the Copper Canyon. It was blisteringly hot and in the heat he forgot his own last name. He did, however, remember his nickname; Dickless. So he created a new persona under that unforgiving sun, even if the name was nicked from his nickname; Chick Dickless. In the heat, he realized he had no use for his heavy feathers and so tore them off himself, making him look like a skinny prick. Name-nicked Chick Dickless skinny prick shortened the Dickless down to Dick, because syllables waste breath. Name-nicked Chick Dick skinny prick licked his heat-blasted limbs to recover energy, using the memory of his mother and sheer will power to get out of Arizona. He finally arrived in California, just mere miles from Los Angeles. But he eventually came to a road that split him from the City of Angels. Name-nicked Chick Dick (skinny prick, who-licked limbs, tornado hick) was sick of obstacles. But it was the last one... So why did the chicken cross the road? Ask Mr Sanders, you lucky bastard.

What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

(Timmy has no arms or legs.) A:Knockknock! B:Who's there? ANot Timmy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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