Why don't you ever stick your hand into the bottom of the jelly bean jar? Cuz' the black ones will steal your watch

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes. What would you like to order?"

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Yo momma so stupid she tried drowning a gold fish. She got accused for animal cruelty.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's dad? Neither did she

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A man walks into a doctors office He has AIDS

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What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

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Why are black men's genitals larger than white men's genitals. Black men's genitals are made up of more skin cells.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

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what do u call a 7th grade ninga joe waldeaker the sarah freek

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Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

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What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

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Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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Why is the ground wet It rained

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

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Why is this website called anti joke.com? Because it has anti jokes.

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If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

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Gays always seem happy wonder why Straights complain to much

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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