A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

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Why did the fungus leave the party? Truffle.

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

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What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The horse never replied.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

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roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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