What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

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A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

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what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

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What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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Knock Know Who's there? Not your dog, he just got run over.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

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Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

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**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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Mexicans are inferior because! BEECUZ! Listen buddy, to be honest, I get girls every now and then because I am what they all want me to be, myself. You are a great friend as far as I am concerned, and I care a lot about you considering I saw you once like... 13 years ago, but I do not spend an entire night chatting with someone on horsehead network out of all things unless that person means a lot more than sex for me... Hell, if I did not feel that nice about you, I would not even have wanted to, and that sounds really awkward for a guy like me to say, believe me, you wont be losing a friend. AS LONG AS YOU KEEP GIVING IT TO ME! I am joking, but this is who I am (sadly) I have many female friends, and yeah well, some I well you know, I am just not the kind of guy that listens to girls sob stories, and pretend to be their gay best friend, while I watch someone bad ass come and bang her... Nah, I am more like that bad ass banger, except I dont break girls hearts afterwards. Seriously, I am really fond of you, to the point where I will say something guys mostly do not say: If you are feeling pressured into stuff, then dont do it, you wont be losing a friend, I wanna spend an intimate night with you (day, shower, on the breakfast table all that) but thats because I really like you, we have built some intimacy in pretty short time if you ask my opinion... See? Now I am being honest and leaving myself vulnerable, and I do that because I honestly care about you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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