Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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I don't get it

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What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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knock knock Goodbye

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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Hey, wanna hear a penis joke? Nevermind, it's too long.

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

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A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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