Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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What is red and has no legs? Half a baby.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Who's Sally?

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

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A white player in the NBA. Wait...

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops