Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a guy on the street throws a boy between 2 priests

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

get it right up there, says jacob while with danni

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why cant fat people walk because they are fat

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

thumb_up thumb_down +5

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops