How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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what happens when an unstoppable force hits an unmovable object? it goes around.

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What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

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Why did? Yes

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops