I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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What do you call a person that smells like shite and chases uglier girls than him? .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . Smelly McD the smelly cunt

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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Your mam is so fat.

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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Yo mamma so stupid... She's considering going to college to get a better education

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

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A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

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What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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