Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

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Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

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Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

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Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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okay so theres this guy.

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How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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Q: What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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