What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

thumb_up thumb_down -9

your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -9

wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I got on a bus, and immediately found that sitting on a bus is boring. I will never climb on top of a bus again.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Boy, is it hot this summer! How hot is it?! So hot that many people have died as a result!... Drink plenty of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats greasy and long? Your moms chesthair

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

thumb_up thumb_down -9

wwwwwhhhurjfjfiudkdhdhkrjfhfjhptghxusudgfhfdhydsyartsdyufhftsysduifogfiiffiydyycufkdytgysyseyydyyduudduydfefikdkeejdicttsysieoowowugagshxjkcjdjevwgyeixodlbbsgwdfehidigofojrehnfkcocoeppwiwufvvdjxifooejehedicisgeneifofjrjhehdhxirjvhejfjhrbrhjfbducjebkwpqosbhdhsvddhehueuwowpqpfugtbcihebdhdjgeyqiichhesweysyhy vhhhhhshdjfjhehehehehehuijrhfeds???????????????????????????????)GHJDJDJFKHRHDJDIEHDJKCHEEJFcyfjfjudffyewdjhsafvd

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops