What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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Have you seen the clown hiding from gay people at walmart?

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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