A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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A pope meets another one

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Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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And Stephen Hawking said.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with no punchline

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why did the little girl fall off the swing? she was a double amputee.

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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