If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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What Do you call two black guys on a bike? A two person bike

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Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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Y the girl tuch her butt she tried To get dookie

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have alziemers banana cookie!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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A man walks into a bar and is shot in the face

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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