Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the Wife cheat on her Husband? Because she was a f***ing BITCH.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Man comes home and sees another dying man lying in the center of his house. He yells at the man, "HEY I DONT KNOW YOU" The man on the floor replies, "That's funny, my family used to say the same thing"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call your mom? mom

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A couple picks up a hitch-hiker with an ax on the side of the road. The hitch-hiker says "Thank you for the ride."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops