Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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Lewis

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops