A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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