A blonde was told to go to the into the nearby swimming pool and sniff the Scratch-and-Sniff sticker on the bottom. Once at the bottom, she quickly realized that it was not a good idea and swam back to the surface.

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

slaughter the mussies #EDL

yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

A: Do you like it B: No

what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

Why did the black woman have an affair? Because she had an unsatisfying sex life, her old husband was boring, and she was curious about being with other men.

Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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