Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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Skinny people fart less.

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

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What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops