YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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life is like a box of chocolates........no it's not

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Y did the boy fall down the stairs???? He was In a wheel chair

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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