How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

KNOCK KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BOO. OH, HEY. COME IN. ....

the wild black man is searching for food. He spots a KFC, and goes wild. He then proceeds to get in line.

What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE JUMPED FOR JOY........she didn't get stuck because there's nothing to get stuck in.

Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

why was the boy crying? cause an elephant tusked him up the ass

hello anomonous

what did the iPhone say to the other iPhone. we should not worry about that because iPhones are mute

So you have been really stressed lately huh?

How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

What happens when you poke a ghost that is on the edge of a building?? Ghost aren't real, so therefor you will fall of the building and die????

Why was the black guy convicted of a crime he didnt commit? Because in The American social syste

I had an amnesia joke But it was written down on a slip of paper because someone else wrote it down. Let me just take it out & read it to you

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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