Stephen Hawking

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What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

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what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Joesph Triphook.

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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I don't get it

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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What do a fish and a bird have in common? They both live under water. Apart from the bird.

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I have aids

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attempting to get back to his farm.

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops