what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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http://www.com/

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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