An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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Why was the 2-year-old girl found dead in the swamp? Her mom was Casey Anthony.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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What is a jew in space? Dead

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Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops