Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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Joesph Triphook.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

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Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops