What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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Did you know that if you say "gullible" slowy, it still sounds like you're saying "gullible."

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

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A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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Q: Why was the gorrilla arrested? A: He broke a law.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Call the cops girl They can't unrape you

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A sheep croses the road It gets hit by a car.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

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your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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what dyu call a jew on the moon? a problem. what dyu call ten jews on the moon? a bigger problem. what dyu call all the jews on the moon? problem solved.

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops