What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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if a dog eats a hot dog what will happen? (leave a comment to find out)

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jane from next door. Hi Jane how can I help you? Just wondering if my sister could use the spare spot on your drive tomorrow afternoon around 3pm? She is coming round for tea. I'm very sorry but my wife is due back around that time. Not a problem, thanks anyway. Have a great day. Bye Jane, see you soon, sorry again.

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What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

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A black man walks into a bar. "Whoops, that's not the Weed shop!"

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What starts with the letter P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Why was the black racist guy and the white racist guy, who 0hated each other, afraid of Michael Jackson? They didn't want to be the other each others color.

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

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What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

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why did the walrus sex with the jew because 911 created a sexual falafel

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

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a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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