A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

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Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

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poop.

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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What do you call a police woman who shaves her pubes? PC Marion Jones

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What did Pablo experience during his first day in private school? the atmosphere of a private school

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

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what did the african boy get for christmas? what does his ethnicity or his place of origin have anything to do with what he gets for christmas

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What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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