a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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Why are black people so dark? They originated from Africa

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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Rishi has popcorn while wass n jess r making jokes on anti jokes

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What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

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Why did the black man enjoy KFC. Because like many foods, it contains monosodium glutamate (MSG) a flavor enhancer that makes many foods taste better. It however had nothing to do with race or cultural background.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

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Two arabs fly into a bar in the twin towers

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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whats up with that? i'm from jersy

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody fight between a black and a white man.

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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