How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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Your mom is so old she died

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What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

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haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

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Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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