So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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c======3

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Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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You: Hey, I have a good knock knock joke, here, you start! -and if all goes well...- Them: Knock knock! You:Who's there? Them: Uhh...

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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