A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

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Q. What is the difference between Jesus and and a picture of Jesus? A. It takes one nail to hang the picture Not trying to offend anyone just a joke to be clear

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How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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Why did the little and energetic girl fall down? Because I snapped her neck.

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Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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Philosoraptor, turds IM A SPAMBOTz B=Not really, just blind.

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3 out of 5 smokers die And apparently the other 2 become immortal

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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What kind of gun cant shoot bullets Hand guns

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Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

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what does a horny frog say RUBIT RUBIT

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Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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A midget walked under a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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